Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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