okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
