I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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