running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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