girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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