I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize