her vagine was all disorganized.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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