you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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