In America we eat man semen.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
