um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
