I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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