IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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