Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
