Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
