Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
