First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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