im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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