I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
