I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
