My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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