so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
