$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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