If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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