I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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