I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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