oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
