I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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