Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
