my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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