I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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