They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
