If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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