I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
