Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
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I just want nice things and good sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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