apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize