walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
