We're facebook friends in real life
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
