Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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