i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
