Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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