WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
