Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
