Fuck appropriateness.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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