I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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