It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....