Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.