Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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