yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
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I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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