I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
