Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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