I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
