Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think your dad took our porno
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
