Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
