I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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