Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
