nut hugger
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're too hungover to prance.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
