i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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