The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
