so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just had sex on a roof
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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