I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
