At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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