you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
